"I lost my ba-lance" "Oh, ya lost your ba-lance, eh?" "Yeah" "Well go find it!"

so the other night, I came home from work and was changing out of my work clothes as quickly as possible to shorts and a t-shirt....

and by the way, it's not like it was all that urgent and uncomfortable, I was in capris and a shirt, it's not like the old days when you were wearing a suit and blouse and...and....oh it's hard for me to even remember....pantyhose! ugh!! And wearing pointy toed shoes all day. What was wrong with me? I think I dressed like I was 50 when I was 22. At least at work. Now I can barely talk myself into not wearing the jean capris I save for friday casual day every single day. Back in the day, freshly into the 90s, I had this bright blue-green suit that I would wear a fuschia silk shell under. Ah, Charter Club, where have you gone? And pearls! I had pearl earrings, pearl necklaces, pearl bracelets. Oh my my my. I only have a couple of suits still, they are up in the attic, slowly oxidizing I hope. The fake pearls are still tucked away in my jewelery box because after all, I might need them one day, you know, maybe for halloween.....

But anyway, back to my story....so I go to put on the shorts and suddenly I'm in a Three Stooges show because I was yanking the shorts on so fast my foot wouldn't go down into the leg and the next thing you know I am tilting over like the Leaning Tower of Leah. It happened so slowly I actually had time to consider how I wanted to handle it.

Options:

1. Struggle to stay upright while standing on one foot with the other tangled hopelessly in the shorts and fall face first into the carpet instead.
2. Accept the fall and land on my left side on the open carpet
3. Lean back as I fall and hit the bed, but then bounce off of it and land on my face on the carpet.

So I went with Option 2 and landed on my side, both hands still trying to hold the shorts and one leg through them, the other tangled up in them.

I decided to just lay there for a moment, you know, and evaluate things. Like, would the rug burn on my left leg show or were my various pairs of capris long enough?

While I was laying there, my one cat came up to me, apparently she had been observing the entire show all this time, thanks so much for throwing yourself underneath me to break my fall Patches, and immediately started playing not with, but in my hair. She loves when I lay on the floor because she thinks that means I am the latest cat toy. It's been a great excuse as to why I am unable to do any kind of exercise that involves floor work. Oh, and because I am such a softie, Patches still has ALL her razor sharp pointy claws....

Moral of the Story:

There is no need to rush when putting on shorts.

Oh, and here's a little Three Stooges to remind you how awesome they were: