and my mailbox is sadly bare;
The New York Department of Health
has yet to answer my prayer!
O NY DOH, please do tell--
Tell me yay, tell me nay!
Have you seen my death certs?
My patience is oh so frayed!
The truth has been told by my bank;
On 11 June you cashed my winter-writ check!
Yet every day since then
Fruitless has been my mailbox trek!
The suspense is killing me!
Will I get my certs?
Or will the dreaded Letter of No Records Found
Be my cold com-fert?
O New York Department of Health, take pity!
I toss and I turn every night!
Have you not heard of immediate gratification?
Come on already!!!!!
(with all apologies to the New York DOH, yes I know it costs money to scan records and make them available to the supplicants I mean users immediately via a website and you need people to run the website and have the ability to process credit cards online but I swear, I will contribute lots of money towards recouping your investment because there are LOTS and LOTS of records I would buy, I SWEAR!)